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The phone rang at least half a dozen times last night
between my getting home and my going to bed (early), and only one of
those calls constituted good news.
I was relieved to hear that a friend hospitalized over the weekend for
a heart attack was doing some better. Doctors expressed "guarded
optimism" when describing his condition.
The remaining five or so calls just served to annoy me. On the other
end of the line was a bored telemarketer or, worse, the silence of a
cold, dead machine.
"Ms. Duff, you have qualified..." one of these telemarketers
began.
Click. The days of being polite to a telemarketer are long gone. It's
not that I'm rude, really. I just don't want someone to beg me to do
something when dinner is getting cold.
A few years ago I would have waited for the speaker to pause before
saying, "No, thank you," and hanging up.
Then a couple of months ago I started listening and planning my counter
attack. If dinner was still in the oven with a few minutes remaining
on the timer, why not listen and go along with them for awhile? But
that quickly grew tiresome.
I had more fun when a pleasant young man called and asked me to spent
"just a few minutes" answering some questions about my alma
mater. I started asking him questions instead - Where do you go to school?
What are you studying? Do you even know where Cullowhee is? Is telemarketing
your life's goal as far as a career is concerned? We both got a kick
out of the conversation.
Answering machines and their ability to "screen" calls helped,
but letting a ringing phone lie isn't easy when there's that chance
for good news on the other end.
Caller ID helped even more when it came to the mountains. With the right
equipment on your telephone, you no longer have to wonder who is calling.
A little window lights up with a number and a familiar name, letting
you know when it's safe to say, "Hello."
But both these options have the same draw back: The phone still rings
in the middle of important conversations with your child, like ones
dealing with what's playing at the movies, when during this century
their clean clothes might be put away or which girl got asked to the
spring dance by which boy.
If it's everything the Federal Trade Commission claims it will be, the
National "Do Not Call" Registry will put an end to these interruptions
beginning this fall.
Hallelujah and praise the Lord, I say.
And so far this piece of weighty legislation has been incredibly user-friendly.
Getting your phone number on the registry, which means getting it off
the telemarketers' lists, is as easy as putting "Do Not Call"
in your favorite search engine and following the instructions.
Don't have a computer? Don't worry. Use your phone when it's not ringing
off the hook and dial (toll-free) 1-888-382-1222 and register your number.
Millions have taken advantage of this service, the results of which
should be felt as autumn rolls around. Those of us who called the deep
woods home because we prefer peace and quiet will once again be able
to hear leaves hitting the ground this year, instead of running to answer
an unwanted ring.
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