Ruralite Cafe: Published 06/07/01

By Rose Hooper Features Editor

Dog bones top Cafe menu this week

Regular as clockwork, Grandpa opened his lunch pail last Thursday to see if anything inside needed to be refrigerated. Imagine his surprise when he opened the black metal container and all he found inside was dog bones.

Frosty, always ready with a quick quip, said, "You've done it now. Looks like you are really in the dog house."

But Grandpa, the sweetheart that he is, could think of nothing he had done to anger his wife, Anne. In fact, the night before they enjoyed a nice, peaceful dinner of baby back ribs - his favorite - and talked excitedly about going dancing over the weekend.

For 40 years Anne has faithfully packed her husband's lunch. She knows his favorites well, like baby back ribs and fried chicken. Never before in all those years had she pulled a stunt like this. Timidly, Jeff picked up the phone and called home.

"Uh, Anne," he muttered. "Do you know what you packed me for lunch?"

"Sure," she replied. "I put in the rest of those baby back ribs from dinner... you like them so well." Thatıs when Grandpa breathed a sigh of relief. He knew she wasn't mad at him.

"Well, what I got was a bunch of dog bones," he told her. He was answered by a burst of laughter on the other end of the line.

"Oh, my goodness," Anne exclaimed. "I gave you the wrong container!"

After dinner Ann had wrapped up the leftovers for Grandpa's lunch and also wrapped up the bones for their dog, a yellow Lab named Molly. Molly loves those bones about as much as Grandpa loves the meat on them. Both plastic containers looked similar and in an early-morning sleep fog, Anne simply picked up the wrong container.

All morning long we ribbed Grandpa.

"Need some boneset tea to go with that lunch?"

"Been barking up the wrong tree?"

"Feeling dog tired, are you?"

"No bones about it, that was some lunch!"

"Hey, quit your growling!"

"Did you take your worm pills yet and call the vet about your rabies shot?"

"Your flea collar needs adjusting."

"Do you have obedience class tonight?"

"If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch."

Those were the printable ones.

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