Ruralite Cafe: Published 04/19/01

By Rose Hooper - Features Editor

You want us to kiss a pig?!?

But you might smack your lips against this one anyway... 'cause it's a kissing pig. Well, that's what the folks at the Jackson County Family Resource Center are telling us.

But it could be the grossest, filthiest mud-slinging oinker in these parts 'cause you know how Linda McElroy and her bunch are prone to exaggerations.

Anyway, the FRC is sponsoring a "Kiss the Pig" contest to raise funds for the worthy projects they sponsor that strengthen families and communities. They've selected 21 candidates to participate in the contest.

The one raising the most money gets to kiss the pig during a picnic Saturday, May 12, at the center, formerly the old Webster School.

The lucky candidates, including me, are Lib Balcerek, Blue Ridge School; Jeff Carpenter, Jackson County Recreation and Parks Department; Bob Cochran, Department of Social Services; Sheriff Jim Cruzan; Jackson County Manager Jay Denton; and Joyce Dugan, Harrah's Casino.

Also, Joe Ferrera, Smoky Mountain Center; Cecil Groves, Southwestern Community College; Bill Haggard, Western Carolina University; Sonja Haynes, Macon Bank; and Sylva Police Chief Jeff Jamison.

There's also Mark Leonard, Harris Regional Hospital; Gene McAbee, Western Carolina University; Jackson County School Superintendent Mack McCary; Yonnie McDowell, community representative; Kenny Nicholson, Smoky Mountain High School; Sylva Mayor Brenda Oliver; Frank Padgett, faith-based representative; Jackson County School Board Chairman Martha Queen; and June Smith, Region A Partnership for Children.

Out of that group, who would you vote for? You vote by putting your money where your mouth is. Each $1 donation to the Family Resource Center gets you one vote.

Now I'm a firm believer in the FRC's missions and programs, especially their GED and family literacy classes because I've met the adults whose lives have been changed and enriched by these programs.

I've watched young, inexperienced parents learn the skills required not only to raise a child, but to strengthen communication with their children, on Family Focus nights. I've met and written stories on the adolescents training to become leaders and contributing community members.

So I'm all for raising money for this vital network of support in our community.

I don't pretend to garner votes like Jay Denton for instance, so I know I won't have to kiss the pig. But here's the squealer. The one with the least votes has to hold the pig while the winner kisses it.

Sheriff Cruzan has an unlawful advantage. He's going around telling everyone that if he wins, he will even French kiss the pig! So you know folks are going to pay to see that. Wouldn't you? But wait! Chief Jeff, can't you find some dusty, obscure law where it's a crime in a southern town for the high sheriff to French kiss a pig?

If you can't, that means I could possibly be on the tail end of all this ­ the one holding the pig's rear while Cruzan tries his tongue-under-snout trick. If that pig gets excited, I'm in trouble.

You can vote at the FRC's booth during Sylva's Greening Up the Mountains festival Saturday, April 28, or weekdays at the Family Resource Center at the old Webster School. Or you can send or drop by donations (payable to the Family Resource Center) at the Herald.

So, please, loyal readers, cast a vote or two for me so I don't end up on the bottom, in more ways than one.

Back to Archive: 04/19/01.