The Sylva Herald seems a perfect venue to share my gratitude for the blessings of Donald Trump’s presidency.
Thank you, Mr. President, for eradicating integrity, fair-mindedness, ethics, respect for others and moral probity in government. Thank you for aiding and abetting in the destruction of the happiness and security of ethnic groups in the United States. Thank you for turning up the heat to boiling under our so called “melting pot.” Thank you for demeaning your staff, military leaders, and women whom you affectionately demean.
Thank you for offending Christians everywhere (yes, both conservative Pat Robertson, from whom you received the “uncool award,” and even groovy Episcopalians) when you held up an upside-down bible in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Washington, D.C., but not before clearing the path with tear gas, rubber bullets and police bullying. Pulverizing priests and peaceful protesters was purely presidential. And not content to let that be an end, you and the first lady photo-bombed the statue of Pope John Paul II a day or so later, showing your reverence for both Protestant and Catholic alike – kudos!
Thank you for appointing people who try to undermine education in this country, making sure that public education is no longer a right. Thank you for taking pot shots at the post office, social security, Medicare, Medicaid and mail-in voting. Thank you for bossing around those surly state governors who had the nerve to try to protect the denizens of their states first from a deadly virus and then from police brutality and racism. Those governors need to be tough like you and go hide in bunkers until fences are built around their mansions.
Thank you, also, Mr. Trump, for destroying our standing in the world so that Iran, China and Russia, tell us that we no longer have the right to preach ethics to them. But, while we have lost ground internationally, we can take comfort that the Confederacy (those noble traitors) now have reason to hope. They guard their assembly-line, 500-of-a-kind, knock-off statues as you wield your topsy-turvy Bible.
Oh, and thanks for the kiddies in the cages at the border. That will show those parents who try to sneak into the land of the not-so-free and the home of the brave. And thanks for whittling down the population by 107,000. China ain’t got nothing on you.
Thank you for making fun of people with handicaps, for insulting Asian female reporters, and for keeping beloved Dr. Fauci under wraps these last few weeks. Perhaps he can join BLM demonstrators and finally have a chance to tell the real truth at a rally, one of the few public forums where truth speaks to power in this country at present.
Most of all, I want to thank you for the relatives I have unfriended on Facebook and a damaged 52-year friendship. Yes, America and I have a lot to be thankful for.