Carol McCrite

I murmured under my breath when North Carolina’s governor asked politely for everyone to curtail traveling anywhere except for necessities. I moaned out loud when he firmly ordered the same, and I walked outside and screamed from the top of our little mountain when it became a mandate!

STAY AT HOME the billboard read! (“You idiots“ was in small print just under U turns now permissible.) Let the battle begin. Oh not between me and the government. Heck! I don’t want to see the National Guard pull up, guns drawn. The battle of the sexes, you know, between Sidekick and myself. The skirmishes we can mostly avoid given some time and space. Lots of space – fishing trip with guys kind of space.

I will have to thank the good Lord in Heaven above for the excellent training we have had over the past few years. It has prepared us for this greatest challenge of our nearly 60-year marriage.

Can’t help but remembering those vows ... “in sickness and health ...” or “forsaking ALL others...” now that COVID-19 has forced incubation or is that incarceration? Imagination? I can’t recall. I just know two people over age 65 are forced to actually share a small cabin with one bathroom, one TV and a smart phone that constantly tells us: “We are sorry your service has been interrupted ... try again when Jesus returns!”

OK, there’s the TV thingy. He truly believes the remote belongs to him! OK buster, then change the channel from NCIS Miami, New Orleans, Boston, Chicago, Detroit to reruns of Little House on the Prairie or the 1,456th replay of “Overboard.”

He grunts and grips the remote. Searches for something we both can watch ... together. Egyptian archeology? The battles of WWII now colorized? Or the (dear God) umpteenth dig at Oak Island. (Those guys will never find a treasure as long as the gold lies in loyal viewership!)

We settle on Josh Gates and “Expeditions Unknown.” My question ... unknown to whom? Josh? His crew? The country he has picked to pursue ancient mysteries? Certainly the two of us who are sitting on the edge of our recliners in anticipation ... of who makes it to the bathroom first!

Carol McCrite lives in Whittier.