'Surviving Your Adolescents' video tells parents to look at 'big picture'

By Rose Hooper

The good news is, said Robin Schaeffer, herself a parent of a teenager, it's never too late to learn the useful methods illustrated in the "Surviving Your Adolescents" video.

More good news ­ the video is available to the public at area video stores, the Jackson County Public Library, the Family Resource Center, AWAKE, Community Health Link, Smoky Mountain Center, Jackson County Department of Public Health, WestCare Resource Room and the Department of Social Services.

"The video teaches you to concentrate on the big picture and not sweat the small stuff, like whether or not your teenager's room is clean," said Schaeffer.

"Living with a teenager, there are times when you must bite your tongue as they push towards independence," said Lorna Barnett, Community Health Link director and parent of a former teenager. "Or, if you sense there is trouble, there are times when you must take charge. This video gives you a step-by-step approach that will help end the hassles and offer concrete solutions."

Last year the Community Health Link Action Team distributed the "1-2-3 Magic" parenting video dealing with children ages 2-12.

"The video was so effective," said Schaeffer, "that parents asked us for the next step, how to deal with their children when they become teenagers. So this video is a sequel to last year's."

In the video, clinical psychologist Dr. Thomas Phelan, who also did the "1-2-3 Magic" program, shows five ways to improve the parent-teenager relationship and the four cardinal sins of what not to do.

Different personalities need different methods, but in this video there is something for everyone, said action team member Joelean Fox with DSS. "You learn which role to take ­ observer, advisor, negotiator or director," said Fox.

"Surviving Your Adolescents" illustrates what is normal adolescent behavior, how to manage teenage risk taking, what problems require "letting go" and the relationship between parent/teen communication and adolescent safety.

In the video Phelan stresses, "Raising teenagers is not easy task... are they boys and girls, or men and women?"

Phelans also points out that teenagers "are all about power and affiliation.

"The teen years are a time when pulling away from parents is natural. Parents need to recognize that their teens are now focusing on their peers and to not take the pulling away personally," Phelan said, describing the period when teens considers being seen with their parents as uncool.

"Parents don't have time to go out to parenting meetings at night after working all day. But it's easy to grab a video on the way home from work. That's why we are making the videos accessible throughout the county," said Schaeffer.

The videos are free and can be rented for a week at a time.

Robin Schaeffer

Community Health Link Action Team member

Back to Archive: 04/25/02.