After 50 years, John Reid finds his father

By Rose Hooper

John Reid as a young boy with his mother, Nannie Faye, and father, John Douglas Alexander.

For the first time in 50 years, Reid has met his father.

In 1952, when he was just 4 years old, his mother married Troy Reid, the only father he had ever known.

"But I did know that Troy was my stepfather, even though my mother never talked about my natural father," Reid said, never thinking much about his real father until he was 16.

"I had to have my birth certificate to get my driver's license, and my birth name was John Douglas Alexander. That sent me into a bit of an identity crisis, so my parents legally changed my name to my stepfather's - Reid."

In later years, when his curiosity piqued about his real father, Reid asked his mother prodding questions, but she never responded. "My stepfather died in 1989. In the last year of my mom's life - she died in 1999 - she gave me a picture taken when I was just a little boy of her, my real dad and me. She'd waited all these years. I guess in the end she did want me to know." And, as he grew older, Reid did want to know. "Family is important to me... and so is my medical history."

James Caldwell Alexander sports a big smile discovering he suddenly has two granddaughters, Cara, left, and Courtney Reid.

"Now, I'm a little bit chintzy, but I thought if they could locate my father, that would be a $1 million investment," said Reid, who only had three pieces of information about the man, other than his name and age - 1) He went to business college in Asheville; 2) He had lived in Indiana; 3) His mother was from Concord.

"I discovered there are thousands of James C. Alexanders out there, but only six James Caldwell Alexanders that fit my father's description," he said.

Reid wrote a letter, very open-ended and vague, to each of the six men stating, "I am simply a human being in search of his father - to get medical information - and to know something I have never known for 52 plus years - my father. If you are not my father, then I wish you well. If you are my father, then I wish you well." He mailed the letters on Tuesday, March 27.

In Mooresville, not far from Charlotte, his father's wife, Marie, opened the letter and told her husband, "Jim, I think this is from your son, John." Even before they were married, Alexander had told her about his son.

John Reid, right, met his father, James Caldwell Alexander, 80, center, for the first time in more than 50 years last month. Accompanying Reid was his wife, Nelda, left.

"I looked at the return address of James C. Alexander and just went bonkers," said Reid. "It was him all right. Not only did I discover my father, but I discovered that I had three sisters! Well, I couldn't wait to meet them."

Turns out Reid's father is 80 years old, experiencing the onset of Alzheimer's disease, and has a memory that is "faulty to non-existent."

"It's like we connected just in time," Reid said.

Reid said he wanted to go immediately and meet them, but Jim and Marie wanted to wait and break the news to their daughters about how they suddenly have a grown brother.

"I could understand," said Reid, who has a master's degree in counseling. "I didn't want to come across as pushy or as having any hidden agendas."

Reid learned his father would celebrate his 81st birthday April 19, so he sent him a birthday card... "the first birthday card I ever sent him.

"I didn't want something mush-mushy and there's not a big niche for cards where you've never met your father. But I found a great one. It said, 'All in God's time... something about a brand new day.' It was uncanny how it fit."

The first week in May, Reid was to attend a conference in Morganton and proposed meeting the family that weekend, when the conference ended.

"That was the longest week of my life; I thought it would never pass," said Reid, who was running on pure adrenaline by this time.. "I couldn't eat; I couldn't sleep."

Wife Nelda and daughter Cara, a recent graduate of Smoky Mountain High School, accompanied him on the trip; daughter, Courtney, a junior in college, drove from Chapel Hill to join them.

When he saw his father arriving, Reid said his stomach "lurched into my throat. My emotions were so mixed; I didn't know whether to run and hug him or run inside and hide." So he walked up to him and shook his hand.

His sisters turned out to be huggers. "They were literally jumping up and down with excitement when they saw us. The sensation of instant family connection was overwhelming.

"They have a close sense of family, and we have a close sense of family, too. That helped this meeting work so well.

"They even had a cake for us that said, 'Welcome, John and family.' When I began to cut it, I looked around and there wasn't a dry eye anywhere."

None of his sisters have children, so the family welcomed their new nieces while Jim and Marie welcomed their new grandchildren.

"Courtney interns this summer in Raleigh with Sen. Bob Carpenter, and Marie was telling her about when she worked for Sen. Jesse Helms. I tell you, it's just uncanny," Reverend Reid said. "The girls have new grandparents and aunts and uncles, but that's just the beginning. One of my sisters is into genealogy and has quite an historical record of the family.

"Meeting my father and his family has been a life-altering experience for me," said Reid, pointing out his other life-altering experiences, which have been conversion, college, marriage, children, death of parents and now finding a new family.

"Finding them has been a roller coaster ride. I feel so blessed though because in the entire experience, there's not been a single negative aspect," Reid said of the miracle. "By my example, I would encourage others who are wondering about their natural parents to go ahead and do the search."

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