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Cancer survivor Tugwell advises others to ‘look forward’
By Stephanie Salmons
When Helen Tugwell was first diagnosed with stage II ovarian cancer, she had no symptoms.
She did not feel the grapefruit-sized tumor in her abdomen and she had no pain. Tugwell was merely in for a routine check-up about three years ago when her doctor found the cancer.
“I could tell by her expression something was wrong,” Tugwell said. “When she found it, I was getting regular check-ups and it was the size of a grapefruit. I would have thought something that big here (in my abdomen) I would have felt it or seen it at least.”
The diagnosis knocked both Tugwell and her friend, Daisy Anderson, who became her caretaker during the illness, for a loop.
Helen Tugwell, left, was 67 when she was diagnosed with stage II ovarian cancer more than three years ago. According to Tugwell, who is pictured with her son, David Tugwell of Raleigh, and caregiver Daisy Anderson, a solid support system of friends, family and community members as well as a positive attitude, helped her during her battle.
“I was a healthy person,” she said. “I kept thinking, ‘not me. I feel good. I don’t have symptoms,’” Tugwell said.
During her battle, Tugwell recalled advice her father had given her.
“He had a saying he taught me: ‘Don’t look down, honey. No one ever got anywhere by looking down.’ I remembered that and that was my mantra through the whole ordeal: just keep looking up. The positive attitude is what got me through all of it. I was determined I was going to beat it. That was it,” Tugwell said.
Anderson said that she was shocked at the cancer diagnosis, largely in part because people don’t think it will happen to them, she said.
Tugwell’s doctor immediately referred her to the Hope Center in Asheville.
Hope is a cancer treatment center that focuses solely on women battling the disease, Tugwell said. Hope covers everything from diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and follow-up.
“When I went in, I knew I was in the right place when my doctor asked me if he could pray with me before going (into surgery to remove the tumor),” she said. “I’ve never had a doctor do that, but it’s standard there. It just set the tone for all of the care I got there.”
In addition to surgery, Tugwell had to undergo chemotherapy as well.
While the treatments did not make her nauseous, they did cause her to be extremely fatigued and caused severe bone pain. To help boost her energy, Tugwell had to take shots that cost around $3,000 each, which she said made her understand the importance of having good health care.
“I couldn’t have afforded the treatment I had otherwise,” she said. “It taught me not to take that for granted.
In addition to her positive attitude, Tugwell said that support from not only Anderson but also from a core group of friends and neighbors helped her through her battle and was an important part in her recovery.
“There were days when she couldn’t get off the couch,” Anderson said, stating that Tugwell’s two dogs still had to be taken care of and things still had to be done around the house.
Anderson, who works at Lowe’s in Franklin, said that she got two months off from work while Tugwell was undergoing treatment, but neighbors still offered their help and continued to do so after Anderson returned to work.
Anderson’s coworkers also showed support for Tugwell and after returning to work following the two-month leave, they allowed Anderson to take additional time off if necessary.
Tugwell, who has three grown sons, said that while they were involved during her whole ordeal, they could not be involved in the day-to-day activities because they do not live in the area.
Both Anderson and Tugwell said that having a support group – whether it is a formal cancer support group or just a solid and dependable group of friends – is important when facing a similar battle. This is why a program such as Relay for Life is so important in the community.
“You meet so many people in the community that you had no idea were going through a similar battle,” Anderson said.
Tugwell agreed.
“When you’re going through it, you think you’re the only person in the world with (cancer),” she said. “The first time I went to Relay, I stood there and cried like a baby because I didn’t realize how many people in this community had cancer and were survivors.”
Anderson said that sharing others’ experiences help when personally facing a battle.
This year will mark the fourth year that Tugwell has participated in Relay.
“It’s like a community gathering, and it’s a reminder every year that cancer never sleeps,” Anderson said. “You have to keep working to beat it, and all of those people there have to work together to beat it.”
Tugwell said the saddest part of Relay is seeing children battling cancer, but ultimately everyone is there for the same reason: the community support.
“It’s like that saying, ‘it takes a village to raise a child,’ well, it takes a village to beat cancer,” she said.
When she finds that others are facing the same road she once faced, Tugwell said that she offers them the same advice her father once offered her: to keep looking ahead.
“Keep focusing on ‘I’m going to beat this, I can get better, I know I can,’ ” she said.
Although she maintained a positive outlook, Tugwell said that there were depressing moments in her battle.
Every night, Tugwell recited Psalm 23, regardless of how she was feeling. This recitation gave her peace of mind, she said.
“I tell people to find something like that, that gives you peace when you lay down at night and it’s scary,” she said., urging that those in similar situations should not let fear take hold of them.
“Cancer is a scary word, it is a really scary word, but your fate has to go somewhere, so don’t let the fear get in the way of the hope,” she said.
As for caregivers, Anderson said that “it’s just natural energy that kicks in when you find out this is really true. You know that you have to be there and do whatever needs to be done to get this person and yourself through this.”
Although she said that the idea of cancer is scary, Tugwell said that her experience with the disease made her appreciate the health she has now and as well as each day.
“I saw people that aren’t going to make it, people that are going to die, women that have lost breasts, women that are totally disfigured and I came through it,” she said. “I’m healthy. When I look at a lot of people in this world, I’m healthy and I’m thankful for that health. When I get out of bed every day, it’s beautiful out there.”
This year’s Relay will begin at 6 p.m. on Friday, May 16, at the Jackson County Recreation Center in Cullowhee.
(Editor’s Note: This is final installment of a five-part series on cancer survivors planned in advance of this year’s local Relay For Life.)
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