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October is Domestic Violence Prevention Month
(Editor's Note: October is Domestic Violence Prevention Month. REACH of Jackson County submitted the following information in order to raise local understanding and awareness of the nature of domestic violence and its effects on its victims and on children who may be present in homes where violent incidents occur.)
Domestic violence happens in a family when one person believes they are entitled to control another. It is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. Abuse of family members can take many forms. It may include emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, using children, threats, intimidation, isolation and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power. In all cultures, the perpetrators are usually the men of the family. Women typically are the victims of violence, but this is not always so.
Acts of domestic violence generally fall into one or more of the following categories. In psychological battering the abuser's psychological or mental violence can include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from friends and family, deprivation of physical and economic resources, and destruction of personal property. The verbal abuse may turn into physical battering. The abuser's physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from pushing or shoving to more violent acts ending in murder. Physical attacks are often accompanied by, or culminate in, sexual violence wherein the victim is forced to have sexual activity with the abuser or take part in unwanted sexual activity.
Domestic violence battering escalates. It often begins with behaviors like name calling, verbal put-downs, threats, violence in the victim's presence (such as punching a fist through a wall), and/or damage to objects or pets. It may escalate to restraining, pushing, slapping or pinching. The battering may include punching, kicking, biting, sexual assault, tripping or throwing. Finally, it may become life-threatening with behaviors such as choking, breaking bones or the use of weapons.
Violence in any form is never an acceptable response to a domestic dispute. The entire family unit becomes victims where domestic violence is present – the victim who experiences the abuse; the children, who suffer the consequences of their parent's battles; and the abuser, who is often a victim of tradition that teaches him that he is to be master of his household.
Children who observe and live with domestic violence are clearly harmed by the experience. They experience fearfulness, anxiety, sleep or eating problems, behavioral and physical health problems, school problems and poor-self concept. They are more likely to use violence to solve problems with peers. They are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol and run away from home. They are very likely to repeat the violent behavior with their own family members as adults.
Imagine the extreme emotional stress felt by a child who must have one of his or her parents barred from school by a protective order, by a child who must know how to make emergency calls to help "save" one of their parents from another, by a child who has to rehearse "escape plans" because an adult family member may become violent, or by a child who must move around constantly with a fleeing parent. It has become trite to say that it takes a "village" to raise a child, but this is an excellent concept to apply to children and domestic violence. Every adult in our community must feel some responsibility for every child in our community. We must assure our children that they are precious and valuable to all adults, and we must intervene and speak out if a child is surrounded by violent adult behavior.
North Carolina state legislators understand the consequences children face when they witness or grow up with domestic violence. The General Assembly ratified House Bill 926 during its 2003 session. That law imposes supervised probation on anyone who commits assault or battery in the presence of a minor. This probation is in addition to any other punishment imposed by the court and is directly aimed at adult behaviors which are observed by children.
Domestic violence is not a situation in which turning away and calling it a "private matte" can be acceptable, particularly when children are involved. Early research shows that comprehensive intervention (when families receive supportive counseling for children and adults, and agencies, schools and law enforcement work together) can begin to break the cycle of violence by making children safe and helping them to choose positive behaviors. Every adult can make a difference by knowing what help is available in the community. For more information or know a child who is suffering from domestic violence, please contact Judy LeRoy at KIDREACH, 631 4486. Confidentiality is always observed.
For more information or assistance call REACH at 631-4488 or 586-8969.
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